If I Learned One Thing This Election Season

If there is one thing I learned for certain this election season, it’s that there is no way in hell I’m signing up to be president.  I just don’t think I have the stamina.

I’m not sure how it would fly with my constituents, if I were to ask for a two hour nap during the final push leading up to Election Day.  I’d imagine I would be preeeeetty tuckered out by my upteenth trip to Ohio; Ohio would not be getting my A-game.

Fancy for a moment an entire world focused on you, waiting for you to snap and throw someone the bird.  I’m self-aware enough to know that in such a state of fatigue, I’d give the media what they wanted.  You wouldn’t have to poke me too hard with a stick to get the money shot.

I’d pop off.

Call my opponent a four letter word into a live mike I thought was turned off.

Sure.

Therefore, to save myself and my family from future apologies and embarrassment, and with much thoughtful prayer and consideration; I’m withdrawing my candidacy for the Office of the President effective immediately and forever.

God Bless America.  God Bless the Pittsburgh Steelers.

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