I’m Old Enough to Know Better: The “I Told You So” Edition

I’m thirty-four years old and really…I should know better.  But I don’t.  ‘

I just had ankle surgery on Friday.  I have a five-month old baby.


My original plan was to have this surgery done last summer.  Let it by said, I shouldn’t be allowed to make a plan of any kind without adult supervision.  We don’t call my mom “The Captain” for her willingness to relinquish control of the schedule.

She planned. We followed.  I’m helpless.

Needless to say, my foolproof plan was promptly blown out of the water by a little thing called childbirth.

So my rationale for having surgery on Friday was this: Get it done before Jeffrey gets mobile.  Made perfect sense–BUT HE CAN’T WALK!


Of course I needed my mom.  

“The Captain” was already on it.  She had schedules mapped, responsibilities delegated, transportation coordinated, menus planned and made.  

She had entertainment booked.  I hadn’t even scheduled the surgery.

After spending five days with her, I’m thoroughly convinced mom is fully capable of launching a full-scale military operation before 5 A.M.  I can’t find my ass with both hands.

So I ask you this, WHY would I think it was a good idea to leave her house and handle these post-surgery logistics on my own?  Because I’m a damn fool.  That’s why.

I’ve traded hot meals served-bedside-in-anticipation-of-my impending-hunger for cereal in a cup.  I’ve traded fresh, fruity, protein-rich, high in calcium and healing power smoothies for overripe bananas.

I wanted to put on my big girl pants and do this all by myself???

Well here I am eating humble pie, Captain.

You told me so.

I should always listen to you because YOU ARE MY MOTHER, and I am a jackass.

***I would also like to take a moment to thank my mother-in-law for taking care of our son today.   Without her I’d still be crawling across the floor on my hands and knees, dragging Jeffrey across the floor on his changing pad.***

What a big girl I am.

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5 Responses to I’m Old Enough to Know Better: The “I Told You So” Edition

  1. The captain says:

    Didn’t you ever watch that show…mother knows best? I’m having a banana weight watcher smoothie right now…yum

  2. Too funny- hope you feel better soon. Following on Twitter.

    Best wishes,

    twitter: @claylauren2001

  3. Kelly says:

    You kill me… these are great! And I empathize with you about the ankle surgery. Had one in 2002 and had to have a re-do on the same foot in July 2010, followed by one in November 2010 and one in February 2011… with a 3 year old son. Yes, he could walk, which meant he can run, jump, and want to play ball… Not easy with children of any age–especially when they get a kick out of taking your crutches or knee walker(highly recommended if you are in your cast much longer–totally fun, and makes getting around SO MUCH EASIER), leaving you to crawl to the bathroom or mode of transportation on your hands and knees, and for him to then look at you and say, “Mommy, you are like a doggy or a pony, can I ride on your back.” Uhhh… I think not kid! Hope you heal fast! And utilize “the Captain”, mom’s DO know best…. shhh don’t tell anyone but your son that! 🙂

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