Christmas Liar

 

I don’t know what could be worse;

You pulling out that

Unexpected gift bag,

I have nothing for you in return.

 

I just don’t know what’s worse;

The startling sight of

Red and green wrapping,

Or my boss barging in to my stall.

(How embarrassing.)

 

I cannot decide what is worse;

Your sickeningly thoughtful

One-sided gifting,

Or my skirt tucked into my hose.

 

I’m trying to decide which is worse:

You with a purchase,

I with nothing,

Or forgetting to wear pants to work.

(I’m a jackass.)

 

You see, my office friend,

We made no firm commitment

So I left you off of my list.

 

I struggle and squirm,

I open my gift thinking

What in the hell I’ll say next.

 

“I left your gift at home.

It’s right on the counter.”

I’m a shiftless, Christmas gift-less liar.