I’m from Pittsburgh; I battle traffic like a backroads, shortcutting, alternate route-taking ninja. The summer/fall/spring/eternal construction season in our fair city has been most ridiculous; truly lacking in sensibility of any kind. Thank you, PennDot.
I mean it. Thank you, PennDot for routing me past the Bad Mama Jama Crossing Guard on Arlington Avenue.
She doesn’t play.
Bad Mama Jama crossing guard steps onto the scene with a swagger that lies somewhere between a soldier and a prize fighter. Today BMJCG flagged a 52-passenger school bus sideways across the street. You don’t even have an opportunity to blow by the bus as the kids unload.
You can’t cross her people.
To Bad Mama Jama Crossing Guard, thank you and your bad ass for keeping my city and its children safe. This “Rhymes with Tuesday’s” for you…
Bad Mama Jama Crossing Guard
“DO YOU SEE THAT STOP SIGN, SIR!!!?” she asks with glare;
A “Don’t test me, fool,” turn of the shoulders and a hand in the air.
“Think I’m playing?” she struts with a street fighters stride.
“I wear the fluorescent yellow, son” and she wears it with pride.
“I will hunt you down.” There’s no doubt she means business.
“Arlington kids are MY kids. They know who the boss is.”
Needless to say I stop well in advance;
Mess with Bad Mama Jama Crossing Guard? HELL NO.
Not a snowball’s chance.