I regularly walk to work in the morning to clear my head and get myself right for the workday ahead; I get my game face on. This morning I found myself thinking about what a blasé day Tuesday has always been for me…and I started feeling a little bad for lowly Tuesday. Tuesday is the redheaded step child of the week. In an attempt to honor and restore Tuesday to a level of prominence, I’ve decided launch my own personal crusade, “Taking Back Tuesday.” I hope that you enjoy…
I don’t this essay to come off as a case of motherhood martyrdom or womanly whomp whomp. I’ve just been really stuck and frustrated with myself for quite long enough, trying to decide the best direction to take my life from here. Though this certainly isn’t the first time I’ve been stuck in trying to make a decision (I’m perpetually stuck when I have to make a life decision), this is the first time I’m working my family into the whole decision-making maelstrom of my impractical mind.
I find that I do a whole lot of thinking, not a lot of action. It seems that I’m waiting for the perfect answer to swoop down from the sky on golden wing and drop into my lap.
Thus far I’ve not been given any indication that such a divine event is going to happen for me, especially since that bitch from McDonald’s cut me out of the Mega Millions winnings; so it’s about damn time I take my head out of the clouds, and my arse, and give this life of mine the what for.
Though my lottery strategy didn’t quite pan out the way I had hoped, I’m not going to overlook just how lucky in life I am: I’m alive, educated, have more than my fair share of the basic necessities covered. My problem lies from having too many options and choices and lacking, for lack of a better word, the balls to take a risk.
Right now I have there are two paths that I have a foot on: the first is to pursue a doctorate and continue in the comfy womb of higher education; the second is to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. I know that I want to do both, it’s just figuring out how to prioritize the two while keeping my family always in the number one spot.
I know that I can do it all, and though there are limited hours in the day, there is PLENTY of time hanging out there that I waste on one idle pursuit or another.
I’m challenging myself to get those moments back for myself.
This means I’m trading in the time I waste keeping up with the Kardashians, the Jolie-Pitts, the Lohans, the Lopezes, et cetera, et cetera…
I’m taking back the hours of life I give to watching other peoples’ drama unfold on every news channel and site I check in on with obsessive compulsive regularity (as if the world were ending outside of my office building and no one bothered to see that I’d made it out alive).
I’m giving up shopping for the sake of shopping; I want and need nothing that Target can provide. (I’m so sorry, Target, you’ve been so good to me. It’s not you. It’s me. We can still be friends, we just can’t hang out as much as we used to.)
All I want is self-contained and ready for action, all I need is the time to make it happen. That time exists for me, and I’m taking it back–one Tuesday at a time.